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dating, how to not be a creep 

Because I've had to read so many bad examples again: My fellow dudes, here is how to conduct yourself in a dating context:

1. Ask the person you find attractive out. Make it clear its a date not a friendship meeting, propose a location that's safe for your date-to-be, and accept that some people have reason to be wary of men before getting to know them on an individual basis.

dating, how to not be a creep 

2. If you're accepted, show that you care by being clean and well-groomed. Also show that you care by being respectful of their wishes and boundaries. That includes showing an interest in THEIR interests, their values, and what moves them.

All this is a very good basis on top of which you can be charming or funny or just show what is YOUR interest, what moves you.

dating, how to not be a creep 

3. If the person you are interested in does not have an interest in going on a date with you, it's okay to be bummed about it. It's okay to feel sad and rejected (although, a pro move would be to not put all your emotions on the line when asking someone out-- keep some in reserve for the next steps).

Regardless of how you feel, it is very much not okay to insult, harass or otherwise disrespect the person who rejected you. Say "oh, too bad, thanks for being honest".

dating, how to not be a creep 

If you have to meet this person regularly, e.g. for work or at the supermarket or school, it's okay to add "I'm going to keep a bit of a distance for a while to get this out of my system, so we can go back to normal."

Learn how to feel your emotions, not let them overwhelm you.

dating, how to not be a creep 

Bonus Hot Take: Learn how to communicate and feel your emotions in a healthy way, find where your needs, wants and boundaries are, and be open minded and interested in people.

Add a little smirk 😏 and you're going to very high on the attractive scale for lots of people who are into dudes.

dating, how to not be a creep 

@breakthesystem Truly sad that this has to be said for men because it all seems like common sense. :/
But I'm glad you wrote it since men looking to date women usually don't listen to what women tell them they want. :eyeroll:

dating, how to not be a creep 

@Juju I mean, some people are just clueless. I was super clueless once and had to learn and then un-learn from partially unsavory sources. So I thought, why not distill my experience down in the hope it helps people 😊

dating, how to not be a creep 

@breakthesystem I don't know. Not taking "no" for an answer and not murdering people who reject your is something different than being clueless.

dating, how to not be a creep 

@breakthesystem Do I need to dye my beard blue also?

dating, how to not be a creep 

@carl that’s completely optional 😁

dating, how to not be a creep 

@breakthesystem Great advice against all the toxic masculinity people socialized as male have learned! Also helps to prevent "Beziehungstaten" and serial killers.

@breakthesystem 📍 This thread is a must read for any male on/in(?) the sexual spectrum. (I may be wrong but I think asexual and demisexual men mostly will know these points.)

Thank you so much for writing this down! 💝

dating, how to not be a creep 

@breakthesystem @Julia_Schmeer Very good thread. Thanks for sharing.

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