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The proprietary driver for my network card doesn't support IPv6. There is a free software driver for it, but the vendor has been using cryptographic techniques to kneecap it and force people to use their proprietary driver instead. I only use IPv4 so this isn't really a big deal to me.

But a lot of people are talking about IPv6, and I feel left out. So I've decided to send a bunch of angry emails to the maintainers of the IPv6 stack in the Linux kernel. They tell me it's the vendor's problem, so I made up a bunch of misinformation about how broken IPv6 on Linux is and started spreading it around the internet. Any time I hear about new IPv6-only technology like Yggdrasil or cjdns I make my way to the comment threads to talk shit about IPv6.

Wait, no, of course I don't do that, because I'm a fucking adult

in finnish news, someone recently used root/root to break into a company that provides psychotherapy services, stole patient information, and has now been extorting both the company and individual people for bitcoins by threatening to release their sensitive information

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I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”


“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

This nb bear in the mobile app of the Finnish railways is doing a great job ♥️

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I highly recommend anyone getting started with GTK/GNOME app development starts with GTK4 at this point. GTK4 performs better, makes it easier to make custom widgets, and simplifies a lot of things that were more complex before.

If you start with GTK4, you also won't need to worry about porting later :)

if i do three useless tasks simultaneously, do they multiply to make the time spent even less useful, multiply to make the time spent more useful, or not affect each other at all?

I bought some curry paste to try out cooking using it, never having tried it before, and 💯👌

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this truly is the most blursed timeline

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BIG NEWS: Huge welcome to @[email protected], who are entering Matrix!! Gitter is moving from @[email protected] to @[email protected] & building the ultimate Matrix bridge, showcasing how a large chat app can natively talk Matrix, while bringing Gitter goodness to Element! 🚀🌉🎉

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